Tuesday 24 September 2013

Letter To My Mom

Saw them , the perfect family, Mom , son , grandfather , grandmother ,dog going for a walk. Smiling from ear to ear and making plans together for the day. And I drank in the moment, ever so brief and the fairytale ended. No I wasn't dreaming , I was on my walk too, minus the Mom, son, dad and dog. My picture , my story so different from there's. And I got to thinking , Canada Post has been in trouble lately. Nobody sends card, letters anymore. And then I thought deeper. What if everyone sent a letter to there Mom? A thank you letter, a reconciliation letter. A letter to say you haven't forgotten where you came from. Everyone has a mother, maybe you knew her, maybe you were raised in an orphanage, as a foster child, adopted child, by older siblings. We all have stories to tell , Moms that birthed us. So Mom here's my letter. I know you were raised in a troubled home. And I know I experienced turmoil , pain because of that. I had a tough childhood. And Mom when other girls were playing with barbies and eating home cooked meals I had to say good bye to you. You left earth far to early. And sometimes Mom it was hard when you were alive and sometimes Mom it was hard when you passed away. But Mom I want you to know I forgive you. They tell me I'm a strong confident woman. One who can meet life challenges head on and survive. They tell me I'm a good cook and I love to provide meals for others...just like you did Mom. They tell me I carry your smile and your big heart. So Mom thank you. Thank you for leaving some of the good things in me. And Mom , God sent another angel into my life 5 years after you passed away. And she was a good step Mom. She loved to tell stories, and sew and knit. And she took such good care of Dad. And she loved your grandchildren with all her heart. You would have liked her Mom. She was a great woman of faith. She never replaced you Mom, she just expanded her heart so there was room for me to have two Moms. And I got to share a letter with her too.Take care of each other okay Mom? And tell my sisters hello too, they get to be by your side already everyday.
So I'm asking you the reader have you sent a letter to your Mom?
Within Canada it costs 63 cents, USA 1.10 , International 1.85, Heaven absolutely free.
The joy it will provide, priceless.


Monday 23 September 2013

Fall











I traded in my sunglasses for an umbrella. My tank top for a jacket. My shorts that I wouldn't be caught dead in last June was mournfully laid to rest in the crevices of my closet.. My flip flops for wet sock's. Yes fall is here. I fight it every year. And every year I love it. Why the love/hate relationship? Why do I grieve every fallen leaf but rejoice in it's Autumn foliage? Can I actually call these guys whose sign hangs on the back of a neighbour's container? And how do they know my life is cluttered, messy in need of an overhaul? I was beginning to enjoy the warmth of butt sitting in our Church. And then the Pastor had to tackle the subject of prayer. The instant prick of guilt hit my gut and I knew the next few weeks were going to be a roller coaster of a ride. And I knew if I was being honest with my life like the leaves outside change had to come. And just like the backpack full of rock's demonstrating the load I'm carrying I knew the pastor shot his target and landed his bulls eye dead on. Entrusting my needs to God. My worries my life, my family, my friends . My worries about the future can steal the joy of the present moment. And I so want joy in my life. It all starts down on my knees in quiet humbleness .It all starts with a willing heart .
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors."

Wednesday 18 September 2013

Whinning just a little?

So I was at physio today. Not for the ankle but for the frozen shoulder. And buh humbug he wants me back at my GP. Not making progress on my frozen/calcified/bonespurred shoulder--should that be a hash tag? I guess I'm not hip enough to figger that out.So it's back to my GP who might want to get me another xray , who might send me to get alternate treatment done-shock wave therapy???What the heck? You got private insurance lady, my therapists asks me? A...no.Well it could cost you up to $300 dollars a treatment. What? Can't I just put my finger in an electrical outlet and get zapped for free?? No , no just kidding. But seriously who thinks of these things, and why are these thoughts so expensive??I gotta become a deeper thinker. And oh by the way says he, you would also benefit from massage therapy.That sounds a little better.Anybody recommend a good one in the Surrey area, that won't leave me crying too hard?  Because man my shoulder can hurt on its own pretty darn good. I was retelling this to my cleaning lady today (guess I gotta keep her longer) and also about my dishwasher/oven woes. Do you know that I gave her the laugh of the week. Yes, she was rolling in tears by the time I finished my woes. I have a brand new dishwasher installed about a month ago but just found out yesterday if I want the outside panel door for it I have to pay extra. Extra for the dishwasher door, sent her into peels of laughter. She is from Poland and finds Canadian ways super strange. What your dishwasher came with a door? Strange. And the saga of my four year old oven that cost me 500 dollars to fix, which finally happened at the end of July, is again no longer working. Yes the environmental , friendly I will fix this oven gulp at $500 is still better than throwing it away idea doesn't sound so good now. Being frugal sometimes has a steep price to pay.. The 90 day warranty that I was told came with this $500 was cut down to 30 days now that the oven really doesn't work. Why whine you say? Well it's always good to share a burden or make someone else feel a little better about there day. Here's to a better day for you my reader.

Sunday 15 September 2013

Family Get Together


We sat in a circle each one of us part of an extended circle brought together by blood not chance. Each one of us sharing how we fit into this circle of life and what our last two years has brought us. Some graduates, some have their "N" , some a new baby, grandchild ,some lost a love one. I meant my sharing to be surface light hearted the facade that I show people on the outside, not the darkness in the crevice of my heart. Does family really want to know how much you are suffering? Or are those deep dark valley's only reserved for the quiet dark closets that are flooded with tears in the basement of my soul? You know Dad I think you would have been proud of me. I shared my heart and it wasn't easy. I shared how difficult losing my family was. I shared my struggles and it didn't feel good, it was scary. It was overwhelming. And Dad I realised part of walking on this earth is making myself vulnerable to what others might think of me. We are a strong can do anything family. And I realised again strength manifests itself when we admit we are weak. And then Dad I got it, I can't do life by myself. That's what family is for. Family , the good, the bad, the rich, the poor, the gentle, the harsh. Family, generations walking after Gods own heart. Prayers prayed in secret . Prayers prayed out loud.
And Dad through all these years I've learned that life is just way to short. And you've taught me that you can never say I Love You too many times. And Dad you've taught me to love family, cherish it and nurture it, it's so worth the effort. And you taught me by example Dad the phrase "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord" .

Tuesday 10 September 2013

Forever Friends

WE don't see each other much. Not near enough, but when we do it's like our favourite spot on the ocean and we relax take in the sun and become refreshed. Long time friends that switch from facebook likers to deep sea conversationalists. Gone are the yesteryear's of crushes, roller skating and obsession of the latest clothing. In marches ageing parents, bad backs and oceans of stories. And no matter where we meet the longing to come back again is always with us. There's laughter and sorrow, kindness and tolerance. All that's wrong with life gets fixed , shared and divided. And then too soon the time is up ,we pay our bills, make one last pit stop and head our separate ways. Only not really separate because each one of us takes this memory with us. All that was shared at our table, our banquet feast, remains ours.And I am so grateful for my forever friends.