Tuesday Thoughts

There I was again. Sitting in familiar chairs, yet still having foreign feelings. How do you adjust to cancer ? Like a page of a book written for someone else I live the the story line. Hard to put feelings to words, and yet some how the need to be understood is sometimes overwhelming. I play the guessing game as I sit and wait with the others to see the doctor in white. The sun streaming through the window warmed up my shoulder. I couldn't help but exclaim to the stranger/slash friend across the room, nice day to be alive. Yes, she agreed , you got that right. And between us our eyes bestowed the deeper meaning it evoked. What you in for ? Almost like a prison term, hoping to be done soon. There is no respecter of age or clean living that would keep us out of this journey. All of us looking for solutions willing to take risks, counting the costs and realising the struggle is worth it. Everyone one of us has good days, and bad days. Each journey unique, each breath of life a pleasure. I was asked by a dear friend if I ever was angry at God? And I thought maybe I was overwhelmed at the unfairness of my life. Maybe I've felt I've been dealt enough sorrow. Maybe my thoughts are different than yours. And I know it's okay to question. It's okay to get angry, it's okay to get sad. It's okay to be over whelmed. It's okay to admit that. My life sometimes in question but never who holds my life. I am sustained by the one who Carry's me through it all .  My thoughts not always easy, not always pure, firm in the arms of Jesus. May my thoughts encourage you today.