Too Weak

Oma I'm not Strong enough to go to Church. Isn't that just precious? I was babysitting our grand daughters and we were talking about attending Church while there parents were off on a cruise. Not strong enough to face a bunch of strangers telling me what's good for me and what God wants to do in my life.? Something wasn't resonating that cutely anymore.  And I started having flash backs into my past. At eleven saying good bye to my mother, not strong enough God can' t do it. Laying to rest two sisters in one year, not strong enough God can't do it. And I pulled back from God and those around me. The Church and all those lovely people that were just dying to tell me God had such bigger plans for my life. And then losing my step mom and dad within another year, and you know they lived a long life. They are at peace , yada, yada... We've all heard how good natured bible believing people know what is best for us. Nope defiantly not strong enough God. And yet God in His mercy just sat their and waited for my rantings to end and welcomed me back.  I didn't have to clean house before I came back. This morning in my devotional time I was convicted of my jealousy of others lives as I read about the prodigal son returning home. I was right in there with the son who said , not fair I've always been good. Why do you throw a party for my brother who did whatever he wanted to do and I never had a party? And I realised that we all have a unique walk in life. And at times we all experience that we are not strong enough. And that's when God waits with open arms and throws us a party. We blew it, we did our own thing, but there He is. Come on in the party awaits. I will be your strength.
"Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come" Psalm 71:3